When you spend years thinking one way, feeling one way, it's hard to change. For me it's hard to do a lot of things. But I must do them anyway. In order to save my relationship, my happiness, myself.
I've never felt good enough. Not a good enough daughter. Not a good enough friend. Not a good enough sister. Not a good enough girlfriend. Not a good enough human. Just not enough. Perhaps I've accepted being not good enough that I simply stopped trying to be. I've always felt that who I am is a burden to those around me. Is this where my communication issues lie? I don't know how to talk to him, to her, to anyone. I don't know how to make them happy. I don't know how to love them or myself. I don't know much of anything.
How do you fix something when you're the only one who thinks it's broken? Am I cracked vase? Or a pile of shards on the floor? Am I a sweater with some small holes or just a mess of thread? Can I be glued, restitched back together or should I simply be thrown out and replaced?
We have different opinions. We are different. Different thoughts. Different words. Can they ever be the same? Will they ever align?

I'm trying.